Wikipedia's worst sentences

[AndyTheGrump]

From Sophie Conran (T-H-L)

Sophieconran.com has become a beloved and inspirational shop for the whole home and garden, with exciting new collections launching seasonally and sent out into the world in four beautiful catalogues each year.

The article was created, back in 2008, by one Sophieconran (T-C-L), and somehow survived an almost immediate AfD discussion, presumably because Wikipedia's supposed 'notability isn't inherited' rule doesn't apply to posh totty or something. The above gushing prose was added back in 2019 by one of the many enthusiastic contributors to the article who have since turned up to tell us how wonderfully Ms Conran's latest enterprise is going. Since I can't imagine that a daughter of Sir Terence could possibly be editing the article herself, I can only imagine she has friends doing so without her knowledge. If this is the case, perhaps Ms Conran might be best advised to find out which of her friends is responsible, and suggest that they try to be a little more subtle about it. Or even find some unscrupulous Wikipedian with a more diverse edit history to do so - I understand such services are available for payment, as despicable as that seems.

Incidentally, Ms Conran's current husband also apparently merits an article: Nicholas Hofgren (T-H-L). Which makes it quite clear that being married to posh totty makes you notable. At least, you have to assume that is why the lede includes his marital status so prominently:

Nicholas Hofgren is a London-based financier and fund placement advisor. He is the son-in-law of late Sir Terence Conran, the English designer, restaurateur, retailer and writer

Sadly for Nicholas, the article seems to have become embroiled in an edit war, between contributors Whistleblower419 (T-H-L) and Wasthatlibel (T-H-L), over something apparently unconnected with his claim to fame - instead it seems to be alleged shenanigans at his place of work, though I'm not sure that stuff about disputes over allegedly appointing one's brother-in-law to the board of directors really belong in a Wikipedia biography. Mere trivia, compared to the fact that he managed to woo the no-doubt rosy-cheeked Sophie.

[Moral Hazard]

From Sophie Conran (T-H-L)

Sophieconran.com has become a beloved and inspirational shop for the whole home and garden, with exciting new collections launching seasonally and sent out into the world in four beautiful catalogues each year.

The article was created, back in 2008, by one Sophieconran (T-C-L), and somehow survived an almost immediate AfD discussion, presumably because Wikipedia's supposed 'notability isn't inherited' rule doesn't apply to posh totty or something. Mere trivia, compared to the fact that he managed to woo the no-doubt rosy-cheeked Sophie.

Reminds me of the courtship advertisements that used to run in the print Financial Times, if you take away the languages and education ....

Wow Woman - Sophie Conran, Designer, Businesswoman, Mother

link

Introducing our latest ‘Wow Woman’, designer, businesswomen and all around creative powerhouse, the lovely Sophie Conran.

The only daughter of designer and restaurateur Sir Terence Conran and food writer Caroline Conran. Sister to fashion designer Jasper, restaurateurs Tom and Ned and product designer Sebastian. Sophia has come from a long line of creatives.

In 2005 Sophie launched ”Sophie Conran Pies” a gourmet collection of handmade, top-quality pies which lead to her debut cookbook ‘Pies’ published in November 2006.
...

What’s your favourite family meal

One that I cook often when the kids go back or come home from boarding school. A roast chicken with tarragon gravy, my legendary mash, carrots, French beans and broccoli.

I have to go listen to P!nk

The disease is growing, it's epidemic
I'm scared that there ain't a cure
The world believes it and I'm going crazy
I cannot take any more
I'm so glad that I'll never fit in
That will never be me
Outcasts and girls with ambition
That's what I wanna see
You get your news

[Poetlister]

A preview of the second reference is available in Google books. Although the referenced page (p.164) isn't in the preview, if you perform a search on the text "160", the search results show that the text used in the Wikipedia article appears verbatim in the book:

Perrier-Jouët owns over 160 acres of vineyards, with more than half in the Grand Crus of Cramant and Avize.

Thank you. I suppose that one of the references is out of date and the firm either sold or (more likely) acquired about 100 acres recently. But it shows that people who edit articles don't always read what they've done very carefully.

[Poetlister]

Hebrew calendar (T-H-L), footnote 53: "In the Four gates sources ... Bushwick forgot to include 5D for leap years". I have the reference (page 96) in front of me and there is no omission. I know, this is very technical.

[AndyTheGrump]

Prem Rawat (T-H-L)

Ron Geaves, a professor in various fields of religion and long-time adherent of Rawat, wrote that Rawat is not a renunciate, and that he has made great efforts to assert his humanity and take apart the hagiography that has developed around him.

Sadly, Rawat's efforts to 'take apart' hagiographies about him seem not to have been entirely successful. See for example the Wikipedia biography - and the talk page. And the article Teachings of Prem Rawat (T-H-L). And, for those who seek ultimate enlightenment regarding ways to sell videos via Wikipedia, Techniques of Knowledge (T-H-L).

Those familiar with Wikipedia history will no doubt remember past bun-fights over material concerning Rawat: arbcom cases, sudden retirements of admins, and all. I'd like to think that maybe another round of disenhagiographication* is due, though frankly I doubt that the 'community' is willing to go through all that again. Let sleeping Gurus lie...

*Yeah, seems to be a word I made up. Clearly needed though.

[Ming]

On the front page, Today's Featured Article begins as follows: "In Australia, Boeing CH-47 Chinook heavy-lift helicopters have been operated by the Australian Defence Force (ADF) for most of the period since 1974." Whereas, presumably, the ADF's helicopters are operated by someone else when they aren't in Australia. Fortunately, the actual article begins in something more closely resembling decent English.

[Poetlister]

On the front page, Today's Featured Article begins as follows: "In Australia, Boeing CH-47 Chinook heavy-lift helicopters have been operated by the Australian Defence Force (ADF) for most of the period since 1974." Whereas, presumably, the ADF's helicopters are operated by someone else when they aren't in Australia. Fortunately, the actual article begins in something more closely resembling decent English.

It now reads "The Australian Defence Force has operated Boeing CH-47 Chinook heavy-lift helicopters for most of the period since 1974." Why we need an article called Boeing CH-47 Chinook in Australian service (T-H-L) distinct from Boeing CH-47 Chinook (T-H-L), and why such a pointless article is being held up as among the very best of Wikipedia articles, are mysteries known only to a small group of Wikipedians.

[Ming]

To be clear, the article itself never began "In Australia"; it's only on the front page that it says this. Part of the message is that the FA squib there is a completely independent bit of text, but the other message is that someone decided that the qualifier was necessary.

[Ming]

And another lead sentence of the sort for which WP is so justly renowned: "Peruvian Air Line S.A. was a Peruvian airline based in Lima." From Peruvian Airlines (T-H-L), of course. Besides that, the article is additionally crappy, first of all because who cares about a tiny airline that lasted just under a decade, but also because the article seems to have been last significantly updated at the end of 2018; its shutdown in October of the following year is more or less dropped into text which is written as though the company was still flying.

[Lyallpuri]

The lede of Khangai Mountains (T-H-L) is:

The Khangai Mountains (Mongolian: Хангайн нуруу, romanized: Hangain nuruu); is an old mountain range in central Mongolia, some 400 kilometres west of Ulaanbaatar.

It's unclear what "old" is supposed to mean in this context; surely all the age of all modern mountain ranges would be on a geological timescale, and therefore old by typical human standards?

[Poetlister]

The lede of Khangai Mountains (T-H-L) is:

The Khangai Mountains (Mongolian: Хангайн нуруу, romanized: Hangain nuruu); is an old mountain range in central Mongolia, some 400 kilometres west of Ulaanbaatar.

It's unclear what "old" is supposed to mean in this context; surely all the age of all modern mountain ranges would be on a geological timescale, and therefore old by typical human standards?

On a geological time scale, some mountain ranges are comparatively young, only a few million years, and some are many times older. But in fact an IP (apparently in Russia) has now removed "old" from the lede, commenting

No shit, mountains are old. In fact, this dates from the mid to late cenozoic (perhaps within last 5 Ma), hardly "old" for a mountain range. Since it's a nice morning, I also removed some old vandalism, and fixed a ref link, barely scratching the surface here but whatevs. I don't know if it's less surprising that this 2+yr old vandalism isn't even my record in a barely active month (don't worry, not on this IP), or that even the hecklers can no longer be bothered to notice such things. Oh well

[AndyTheGrump]

From Bleeding edge technology (T-H-L)

The rewards for successful early adoption of new technologies can be great in terms of establishing a comparative advantage in otherwise competitive markets; unfortunately, the penalties for "betting on the wrong horse" (e.g. in a format war) or choosing the wrong product are equally large. Whenever an organization decides to take a chance on bleeding edge technology there is a chance that they will be stuck with a white elephant or worse.

I left a less-than-complimentary comment on the talk page of this abysmal article almost ten years ago. link Some things never change.

[Poetlister]

From Bleeding edge technology (T-H-L)

The rewards for successful early adoption of new technologies can be great in terms of establishing a comparative advantage in otherwise competitive markets; unfortunately, the penalties for "betting on the wrong horse" (e.g. in a format war) or choosing the wrong product are equally large. Whenever an organization decides to take a chance on bleeding edge technology there is a chance that they will be stuck with a white elephant or worse.

I left a less-than-complimentary comment on the talk page of this abysmal article almost ten years ago. link Some things never change.

The word "unfortunately" should not normally be found in an encyclopaedia. It is not the place of a reference work to make such judgments.

[Ming]

From Bleeding edge technology (T-H-L)

The rewards for successful early adoption of new technologies can be great in terms of establishing a comparative advantage in otherwise competitive markets; unfortunately, the penalties for "betting on the wrong horse" (e.g. in a format war) or choosing the wrong product are equally large. Whenever an organization decides to take a chance on bleeding edge technology there is a chance that they will be stuck with a white elephant or worse.

I left a less-than-complimentary comment on the talk page of this abysmal article almost ten years ago. link Some things never change.

The word "unfortunately" should not normally be found in an encyclopaedia. It is not the place of a reference work to make such judgments.

The whole article shouldn't be in an encyclopedia, or anywhere else except in a dictionary of advertizing hype. "Bleeding edge" is what you started saying when everyone else was saying "leading edge", which in turn is what you were saying when everyone else was saying "a new advance in..." and so forth.

[Poetlister]

The whole article shouldn't be in an encyclopedia, or anywhere else except in a dictionary of advertizing hype. "Bleeding edge" is what you started saying when everyone else was saying "leading edge", which in turn is what you were saying when everyone else was saying "a new advance in..." and so forth.

This thread is just about sentences. Yes, on looking at the whole article I'd certainly refer it to the crap articles thread.

[AndyTheGrump]

From Jimmy Nelson (photographer) (T-H-L):

Nelson was married to his wife, Ashkaine Hora Adema for 23 years, and as of 2018, they separated

[Beeblebrox]

From Jimmy Nelson (photographer) (T-H-L):

Nelson was married to his wife, Ashkaine Hora Adema for 23 years, and as of 2018, they separated

That was painful to read, I changed it to "Nelson was married to Ashkaine Hora Adema from 1995 to 2018."

[AndyTheGrump]

From Jimmy Nelson (photographer) (T-H-L):

Nelson was married to his wife, Ashkaine Hora Adema for 23 years, and as of 2018, they separated

That was painful to read, I changed it to "Nelson was married to Ashkaine Hora Adema from 1995 to 2018."

The only source cited for this is in Dutch. It doesn't give her full name, and doesn't state when they married. And I'd be reluctant to rely on Google translate to assume that 'separated' means 'divorced'.

[tarantino]

Her about page on her website says they married in 1994 and divorced in 2017.

[Beeblebrox]

From Bleeding edge technology (T-H-L)

The rewards for successful early adoption of new technologies can be great in terms of establishing a comparative advantage in otherwise competitive markets; unfortunately, the penalties for "betting on the wrong horse" (e.g. in a format war) or choosing the wrong product are equally large. Whenever an organization decides to take a chance on bleeding edge technology there is a chance that they will be stuck with a white elephant or worse.

I left a less-than-complimentary comment on the talk page of this abysmal article almost ten years ago. link Some things never change.

The word "unfortunately" should not normally be found in an encyclopaedia. It is not the place of a reference work to make such judgments.

The whole article shouldn't be in an encyclopedia, or anywhere else except in a dictionary of advertizing hype. "Bleeding edge" is what you started saying when everyone else was saying "leading edge", which in turn is what you were saying when everyone else was saying "a new advance in..." and so forth.

It may be a fool's errand, but Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Bleeding edge technology (T-H-L) is now live. Bonus points: the article was actually created by an anon IP user back in 2004 when that was still possible.

[Beeblebrox]

Her about page on her website says they married in 1994 and divorced in 2017.

Nice, I'll use that. Not sure I'd trust a divorced "life coach" though.

[Poetlister]

It may be a fool's errand, but Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Bleeding edge technology (T-H-L) is now live. Bonus points: the article was actually created by an anon IP user back in 2004 when that was still possible.

Is there any precedent for deleting an article that's been around for 17 years?

[AndyTheGrump]

From the lede to Service-oriented architecture (T-H-L):

Service-oriented architecture (SOA) is an architectural style that supports service orientation. By consequence, it is as well applied in the field of software design where services are provided to the other components by application components, through a communication protocol over a network. A service is a discrete unit of functionality that can be accessed remotely and acted upon and updated independently, such as retrieving a credit card statement online. SOA is also intended to be independent of vendors, products and technologies

Starts with the typical Wikipedia-lede theory that saying the same thing twice constitutes a definition. Goes rapidly downhill from there. If you have more of a clue regarding what this is about after reading this word-salad than you did beforehand, you are doing better than me.

If this is how credit-card-software developers think, I'll stick to paying in cash...

[Beeblebrox]

It may be a fool's errand, but Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Bleeding edge technology (T-H-L) is now live. Bonus points: the article was actually created by an anon IP user back in 2004 when that was still possible.

Is there any precedent for deleting an article that's been around for 17 years?

If it hadn't been 2004 when it was created, it would've been deleted right away as unsourced opinion. The original version is pretty terrible. link

[Lyallpuri]

From Southern Airways Express (T-H-L):

Southern Airways acts as a local service airline for dozens of cities across all U.S. time zones

Not only is this an odd way of describing a US airline (even one as unheard of as SkyWest Airlines (T-H-L) serves all mainland time zones), it also doesn't appear to be true, given that Southern doesn't fly to Alaska.

[Beeblebrox]

It may be a fool's errand, but Wikipedia:Articles for deletion/Bleeding edge technology (T-H-L) is now live. Bonus points: the article was actually created by an anon IP user back in 2004 when that was still possible.

Closed just now as redirect to Emerging technologies (T-H-L), which seems like a good result.

[Poetlister]

From an article on a cricketer who played ten first-class matches, Arthur Conan Doyle (T-H-L): "He was an occasional bowler who took just one first-class wicket, although one of the highest pedigree as it was W. G. Grace." No doubt this pompous phraseology is an unacknowledged quotation.

[Poetlister]

"On one occasion, his father was interviewing Eric Morecambe, who comically assumed the 10 year-old Freedland was married.[3]" (My bolding.) From Jonathan Freedland (T-H-L); do we really need that detail?

[greyed.out.fields]

The opera celebrated its 100th performance in November 1792, though Mozart did not have the pleasure of witnessing this milestone, as he had died 5 December 1791.

The Magic Flute#Premiere and reception (T-H-L)

[Poetlister]

Karine Elharrar (T-H-L): "She has muscular dystrophy[which?] and uses a wheelchair." Is it likely that her detailed medical records are public knowledge, and would the information be encyclopaedic even if it were available?

[AndyTheGrump]

From Afterlife (T-H-L):

Mediums act as a vessel for communications from spirits in other realms

The last word is a bluelink, to Realm (T-H-L), which defines it as " a community or territory over which a sovereign rules".

[Moral Hazard]

Rampant misandry on Hammer-headed bat (T-H-L)from EnWebb (T-C-L) (diff)?

"In captivity, it is vulnerable to stress-related illness, particularly males."

Hammer-headed bat (T-H-L)

[AndyTheGrump]

From Schadenfreude (T-H-L)

In East Asia, the emotion of feeling joy from seeing the hardship of others appeared as early as late 4th century BCE.

[tarantino]

Dashami (T-H-L)

Some people fast while other have delicious food enjoying with their relatives who come from near and far areas to celebrate festivals with their beloved relatives.

[AndyTheGrump]

Dashami (T-H-L)

Some people fast while other have delicious food enjoying with their relatives who come from near and far areas to celebrate festivals with their beloved relatives.

An article citing a single source: an astrologer's personal website.

[DanMurphy]

Rich struggled throughout 1979 having hits with United Artists and Epic.

[Ming]

So this is the history of Nsimeyong (T-H-L), a Cameroonian neighborhood:

It was in 1921, that the superior chief Charles Atangana, who was already building his residential palace in the Efoulan district, and having noticed the narrowness of the latter, thought of extending his territory into its surroundings. And so in 1924, they decided with his uterine brother Essomba Ndongo to establish a new village which is Nsimeyong. The village started with just 5 buildings that were to grow over time.

This is almost a word-for-word copy of the Google translation, except that the grammar at the end has been improved, and that since then Google has figured out that frère utérin means "half brother" (through the mother). And Ming isn't up on Cameroonian French, but Ming has to think that the original is a bit, um, off.

[The Blue Newt]

“The narrator of the song not to travel on Highway 51 as, he says, it "runs right by my baby's door".”

Highway 51 Blues (T-H-L).

[casualdejekyll]

Called anacoluthon http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anacoluthon . It would have been amusing if the Wikipedia article about it contained an example, but sadly not.

"the grammatical switching of horses" reads very very strangely to me. Not anacoluthon but definitely silly.

[tarantino]

“The narrator of the song not to travel on Highway 51 as, he says, it "runs right by my baby's door".”

Highway 51 Blues (T-H-L).

Not to be confused with Highway 61 Revisited (T-H-L) by Bob Dylan, one of the best albums ever.
(Though he also recorded Highway 51 Blues).

Highway 61 Revisited is a "featured" article mostly written by Mick gold (T-C-L)/Mick Gold (T-H-L), who's missing from Wikipedia:Notable_people_who_have_edited_Wikipedia, though he's been editing for 17 years.

[Giraffe Stapler]

“The narrator of the song not to travel on Highway 51 as, he says, it "runs right by my baby's door".”

Highway 51 Blues (T-H-L).

Bob Dylan's track "Highway 51", released as the closing track of his debut album Bob Dylan on March 19, 1962, incorporated the tune from Jones's version.

Oh, Wikipedia, why are you wrong so often, about so many things? It's not the closing track.

[AndyTheGrump]

From Learning Factory (T-H-L)

The term learning factory consists of two words. The word ‘learning’ indicates the development of competencies, while the word ‘factory’ defines a realistic manufacturing environment.

Needless to say, the article consists entirely of promotional waffle.

[The Blue Newt]

“ In terms of coffee consumption, the city of Trieste is a specialty…” Coffee culture (T-H-L).

[The Blue Newt]

Since 11 July 2014, he has participated in the War in Donbas, originally as a simple grenade launcher,

The human blooper?

Denys Prokopenko (T-H-L)

[The Blue Newt]

In the end, the back of Krassky's dirty garbage truck will be the theatre of their union.

Je t'aime moi non plus (film) (T-H-L)

[The Blue Newt]

Rosalind Wiener Wyman (T-H-L)

One writer opined that it was Wyman's stand on the council to turn over Chavez Ravine to the baseball Dodgers, and the resulting expulsion of displaced residents, most of them Mexican-Americans, that was "a major—if not decisive— reason" for her loss.

Who wouldn’t dodge a baseball? Those things hurt, they hit you.

[The Blue Newt]

Elmina Castle (T-H-L)

In response to this, the local people forged an attack that resulted in several Portuguese deaths.

It is difficult to tell whether this is trying to invoke criminal deception or metalworking, but either way to the metaphor is stretched well beyond breaking.

[The Blue Newt]

Between the gazebo and children with the boot statue seats an obelisk dedicated by Marta to the founder fathers of the city.

Marta Abreu (T-H-L)

[AndyTheGrump]

The definition of statistical stability is the conclusion that the results or conclusion drawn from a statistical based testing are the dependence of the specific statistics on the sample size.

The lede to Statistical stability (T-H-L), which some IP is currently trying to get to AfD. link

Statistics aren't my strong point (most maths isn't), but I'd bet good money that the IP is right, and the article is bollocks. Possibly bollocks about something actually meriting discussion, but not like this.

[lonza leggiera]

The definition of statistical stability is the conclusion that the results or conclusion drawn from a statistical based testing are the dependence of the specific statistics on the sample size.

The lede to Statistical stability (T-H-L), which some IP is currently trying to get to AfD. link

Statistics aren't my strong point (most maths isn't), but I'd bet good money that the IP is right, and the article is bollocks. Possibly bollocks about something actually meriting discussion, but not like this.

The article looks like it was it was created, and largely written, by Igor Illich Gorban, apparently the creator of the theory of hyper-randomness mentioned by the IP. He has a published a Springer monograph on the subject, and numerous peer-reviewed papers on it in what appear to be respectable journals. I took a brief look at this one, which didn't leave me with a very favourable impression. His English is rather poor, I'd say even allowing for the fact that he's a non-native speaker, and he fails to give a clear definition of one of the key symbols used in his definition of hyper-random event on p.204, which also appears, on first reading, to contradict itself. Nevertheless, by making a fairly obvious guess as to the meaning of the unclearly defined symbol, I was able to make pretty good sense of the first two pages of the article. I'd therefore say that it's not obvious nonsense.

While I'd therefore guess that the Wikipedia article is probably not total bollocks, it's so poorly written as to be effectively indistinguishable from it, and should therefore be deleted. I'd take issue, however, with the IP's assertion that the concept Gorban calls "statistical stability" is "inexistent" in probability theory. In standard mathematical probability theory it's embodied in the so-called laws of large numbers (T-H-L). That being the case, however, means that any Wikipedia-worthy material on that aspect of the concept ought to appear in its article on the laws of large numbers or related articles—not in one entitled "Statistical stability".

There's also a broader meaning of the term "probability theory", however, which refers to its philosophical foundations. This is the discipline where it would be appropriate to discuss another aspect of Gorban's concept of statistical stability—namely those features of random physical processes which make them amenable to being modelled by the standard mathematical theory of probability and therefore subject to the laws of large numbers. Gorban contends that not all random physical processes are so amenable, but that they can be modelled adequately by his new theory of hyper-randomness. My first impression is that Gorban underestimates standard probability and statistical theory' s ability to handle non-stationary random processes, and I'm sceptical of his theory's ability to do any better with those processes which those standard theories don't handle well.

I've read quite a few books and articles on the philosophical foundations of probability, unfortunately so long ago, however, that my current recall of any details is somewhat hazy. Though Gorban's concept of statistical stability is certainly something I believe I've seen discussed in this literature, I don't recall its ever being given that name (or any other name for that matter). It might therefore be possible to write a worthwhile Wikipedia article on the topic, and Gorban's term "Statistical stability" might also be a suitable title for it. That term has also been used to refer a different concept, however, unrelated to Gorban's, so if that title were used, the article would need to acknowledge the alternative meaning and make it clear that it wasn't the subject of the article.