On
Sun, Jun 15, 2014 at 10:43 AM, Pete Forsyth
wrote:
> All:
>
> In other Wikimedia-related forums, recent discussions have focused on some
> (alleged) comments at the Wiki Conference in New York. Apparently, some
> people suggested that the WMF's Executive Director should "dump" her
> significant other.[1] Many have expressed outrage about this. (For
> background, see this blog post from May 30.[2] What's described there has
> continued to play out in the weeks since, just not on this list.)
>
> I think we all share a concern about the amount of "drama" in our
> community-wide discussions. Expressing outrage (even though it's sometimes
> appropriate and necessary) can often be the fuel of "drama" -- and I think
> it's important to explore what's been going on in relation to that
> principle. So, a couple points:
>
> Point #1:
> Gossiping about personal relationships, including points like who should
> dump whom, is totally normal behavior in small group conversation.
>
> Not outrageous -- totally normal behavior. In pretty much every social
> context I've ever experienced.
>
> I think that much is easily enough to explain and excuse any of the
> comments people are complaining about. But in this case, there's of course
> more going on:
>
> Point #2:
> The ED of the WMF can influence the world in significant ways, and we all
> have a stake in how that goes. Her first day on the job was completely
> overshadowed by her partner's aggressive pursuit of his own agenda. In the
> weeks since, that has only intensified.
>
> When the ED responsible for the largest online community in the world
> declines to take decisive and effective action on something this
> significant, and declines to take ownership of her own introduction and
> priorities, many people -- both on this list and in the wider world -- will
> take notice, and will talk about what might, or could, or should happen
> next. That is the natural way of things.
>
> One obvious "decisive action" she could take would be to "dump" her
> partner. Her partner underscored that their connection was a legitimate
> point of discussion by choosing to introduce himself entirely in reference
> to her in his first email to this list,[3] and by then continuing to talk
> about their relationship.
>
> When the idea that she might "dump" him comes up, I doubt the main intent
> is ever to meddle in anybody's personal life. I have (of course) made
> comments like this, in many private discussions, and I wouldn't be
> surprised if it comes up again. It's a comment that comes up while talking
> about possible outcomes, and ones that might stand a chance of resolving
> this mess. "Dumping" is rarely a central topic of interest, simply because
> nobody I've talked to knows much about the relationship beyond the baffling
> and frightening dynamic that has played out in public.
>
> Right now, those who care about Wikimedia are in an incomprehensible
> situation. The ED's partner, not the ED, is driving highly visible and
> influential discussions. Of course all kinds of things are being said about
> it, in all kinds of places. Anybody who acts surprised about that is in
> some kind of denial, and -- probably unintentionally -- further fueling the
> drama with their expressions of outrage.
>
> Commentary about a high profile relationship is normal, and while it's
> *possible* for it to be mean-spirited, it often isn't. Anyone who wants to
> abolish gossip doesn't have a problem with Wikimedians' sense of propriety,
> they have a problem with a basic aspect of normal, human social
> interactions, and/or with the dedication of a worldwide community that
> deeply values our projects, and prioritizes their well-being. So please,
> let's let this one go. Let's keep our attention on more important matters
> -- for instance, how we can build the health, productivity, and diversity
> of our communities.
>
> -Pete
> [[User:Peteforsyth]] on English Wikipedia etc.