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Wikipedia:How to Ban a POV You Dislike, in 9 Easy Steps

Editor’s note: the general public regards Wikipediocracy as a “Wikipedia criticism” web community, but there is more to Wikipediocracy than just that. We also try to draw upon our collective experience to provide the public with useful insider tips on how to get the most satisfying experience as Wikipedia editors. Last month, we provided a guide on how to control a topic, showing you techniques that were previously known only to Wikipedia’s most senior and dominant editors, for how to impose your bias on controversial articles. Today, we highlight another facet of how the pros edit Wikipedia: proven tactics for getting your opponent’s POV [Wikipedia jargon for “Point of View,” or more simply, bias] permanently excluded from Wikipedia, so that your POV may reign supreme. This set of instructions, camouflaged as a humorous essay, has been available on Wikipedia for five years, and provides in a clear and readable style the essentials of how to vanquish and annihilate your opponents in WikiKombat. We provide here the original 2009 version by D. Tobias.

Some of the Wikipedia jargon used in this essay may be unfamiliar to the layman. For a concise explanation of the acronyms used, see “Taking the Alphabet Soup with a Grain of Salt.”

 

How to Ban a POV You Dislike, in 9 Easy Steps

  1. Do your best to bait, prod, and aggravate somebody on the opposing side of an ideological war from yourself into acting uncivil out of frustration with you. If you have friends, get together with them to gang up on your opponents and get them angry and desperate.
  2. When the opponent finally does something that can be construed as a violation of policy, get a friendly admin to block him/her.
  3. When the blocked editor uses the means still available to him/her, such as his/her talk page and the e-mail feature, to complain about the unfairness of the block, get your admin friend to bind and gag the editor by removing talk page posting and e-mailing privileges for “trolling” and “harassment”.
  4. With the editor forcibly silenced and thus unable to speak in his/her defense, hold a lynch mob ban discussion on WP:AN/I, with your friends once again ganging up. This works best when the blocked user lacks friends to gang up on his/her behalf; if that happens, you’d really have drama, but if there aren’t any, you’ll just get an open-and-shut case where you and your friends say “Burn the witch!” “Ban him/her already!”, and a handful of people who like to see a good lynching banning and hang out on that forum for that purpose weigh in too.
  5. Now that an editor representing the POV you oppose is banned, make the banned editor into a bogeyman responsible for all that is wrong with Wikipedia, claiming that everything that editor believes in is a “fringe belief” or a “harassment meme”, and that no tactic is too extreme to counter this grave threat. They should block all IP addresses in Upper Slobbovia if that’s where they think the banned editor is editing from!
  6. If anybody else shows up with similar opinions on any subject to the banned editor, try to accuse him/her of being a sockpuppet. If that won’t stick, call him/her a meatpuppet and claim that he/she is proxying for the banned editor, and that everything they edit needs to be reverted on sight.
  7. If they call this treatment unfair, block or ban them too.
  8. The larger the body count from the serial banning of advocates of this particular POV gets, the easier it will be to summarily ban anybody new who shows up; just cite the “serial harassment” allegedly committed by people allegedly associated with the new editor.
  9. Profit!!!!!!!!

Khan

 

Image credit: Flickr/Eli Sugus ~ licensed under Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic

5 comments to Wikipedia:How to Ban a POV You Dislike, in 9 Easy Steps

  • O please, it’s obvious what’s going on here. You guys/gals just wanted an excuse to play with your legos. One question: what the hell is the owl on the horse’s mane all about? Is that some sort of “Clash of the Titans” thing?

    ,Wil

  • Hersch

    The image is a Lego representation of Genghis Khan’s conquering horde. A little googling reveals that “the Kalmuks held owls sacred because one was believed to have saved the life of Genghis Khan.”

  • Jon

    Um, Wil, Hersch… that’s not Lego, that’s Playmobil!

  • Steffen

    Lol, I gave up on Wiki long ago when I had entered a talk page with something like “Wait a minute, this cannot possibly be the only truth?”

    The other one dragged out his/her replies for weeks, and weeks. And several times included snide hints about my general sanity. It became to unpleasant to continue. Which was the intention, naturally.

  • Holy… This is almost exactly what happened to me. Right after I got blocked, the guy turned around and blamed me for everything bad that had ever happened on that page. That sort of behavior is widespread, then?